So Far
by cheesecakelover110
Summary: Its been three years since Ikuto has returned, and this winter break proves to be the strangest of all. Can the former Guardians find a way to stick together as they finally grow up? (No Mistletoe Needed, revised.) Amuto, Kutau, Rimahiko.
1. Rude Awakening

**SUMMARY:**

**It's been three years since magically-still-seventeen-year-old Tsukiyomi Ikuto returned to Japan, and he's at wit's end trying to convince the love of his life that he really is in love with her, and not that he's just a friend pulling the same old joke. Meanwhile, Kukai bets Utau that she can't get to know him- and she never backs down from a bet- Nagihiko is carefully avoiding Rima for whatever reason, Tadase is holed up in his house with no visitors allowed, and Kairi returns with a whole load of surprises from Yaya. Growing up and falling in love are never easy, but the facts have to be faced sooner or later. This Christmas may be the last one they all have together.**

* * *

**So Far**

**Chapter 1**

**Rude Awakening**

* * *

_King, Queen, Jack, Ace. Joker._

_Humpty Lock. Dumpty Key._

_Maybe these roles have been recycled repeatedly, and maybe their destinies have been fulfilled. But what ties have been formed in that process? Stars never cease to cross, after all, and friendships are never perfect. Love is never perfect. Life is never perfect._

_Christmas is a time for warmth, for human closeness against the world's cold nature. The children that once played those roles are growing up. Fates are intertwining, falling._

_I watched them as they laughed in the snow years ago, and I watch them now, seemingly inseparable. I watch their stars, too. __I anticipate their journeys._

* * *

**Amu**

**You'd think that after three years, you'd get used to it.**

And, you know, maybe I would have, had he done it consistently. But nope. That wasn't the case. Maybe he was doing it this way to mess with my head, but Ikuto only slept in my bed when he felt like it. There was no pattern. There was no warning. It always ended up like this.

"GAH!"

Insert thud as my butt hits the hardwood floor.

"Hmmm…?"

Insert rustle as sheets are tugged from my arms and back into the bed.

"Ikuto!"

Insert louder thud as said pervert's side hits the ground beside me, blankets and all.

"Ah. Crap."

Insert hissing inhalation as Ikuto lifts a heavy lid to give me an accusing glare, as if he didn't have this coming.

"Are you kidding me," was all I could muster without getting too loud again. Mom may have known about Ikuto's irregular visits- she wasn't stupid, after all- but we were 200% sure that Dad couldn't handle the truth. Mom had already covered a few incidents for me, but she was a terrible liar, and Dad's ignorance was fading away with each stutter in her explanations.

"As a matter of fact, I'm not," came Ikuto's reply. Whatever that meant.

"Look," I hissed, "Sleeping my bed was a little more explanatory when I was a flat-chested little girl. There would be questions, at least. Questions that we could correct. Now, however, if my Dad or Ami were to come in asking where I put the remote, or why I'm still on my laptop, they will see a teenaged boy in a teenaged girl's bed. No questions will be asked. I will be grounded until death. You will be arrested at best, and drowned in a pool of your blood and Dad's tears at worst. Understand?"

Ikuto stuck out a lazy tongue at me. "It's cold at my place," he said. "And lonely."

I flicked him in the forehead as hard as I could. He grunted and rubbed his abused skull, but I knew it wasn't enough to really hurt him. Just enough to prove a point.

"Sleep with your sister for all I care."

I stood and yanked the covers from under him. He toppled forward, inciting a satisfied snort from me.

"I'm sure she'd appreciate that," he muttered, gathering himself.

I made a noise of disgust and kicked him over again. "I was joking, pervert. Jeez. Utau's not that creepy at all."

"I was joking too, little girl," he shot back. "So dumb you can't even realize that."

I waved my bare foot in his face and set to making my bed. There was a quiet squeak as he plopped down into my desk chair, propping his feet onto the foot of my bed. It was, thankfully, already made.

I tucked the last corners into place and turned to him, my gaze level and cool. He looked up from one of my manga and stared right back.

"What?" he asked, flatly, after a long while of this.

"I'm going to change," I said carefully.

"And?"

I spat it out. "If you follow me into the bathroom for the fifth time, pervert, I'm calling up my dad. Understood?"

Ikuto rolled his eyes and snorted, a familiar, endearing smile accompanying the otherwise sarcastic gesture.

I grinned back.

* * *

You see, the thing about Ikuto and I was that we had a game. In this game, we insulted one another, he sexually harassed/ teased me, and I yelled/ hit him in return. To us, this was code for _You're my best friend and I have no idea what I would do without you._ A bit unorthodox, but true.

I sighed and shrugged on a pink oversized sweater Nagi had gotten me for my birthday a few months back, as well as my favorite black leggings and a soft pair of faux fur boots. I started to slip my mass of strawberry pink into a sloppy bun, but six tiny hands beat me to it.

"Ah- morning, guys." I smiled in the mirror as my Shugo Chara collectively returned the greeting.

Ran pushed my calves, which were now muscular and tight, thanks to her insistence upon me exercising. "Aw," she whined, "These'll all go to jello by the end of this month! All of this candy and cold weather…...can't you restrain yourself, Amu-chan?!"

"Nope," I answered gleefully. We'd all agreed that, while I had no natural talents, I could work at culinary arts, fine arts, and sports until I was as good as I was in my Character Changes. I was almost there, they said, with each of my fields. This didn't stop me from taking breaks.

"You're so lazy." Miki secured my hairstyle. It looked flawless, thanks to her. She smirked at me in the mirror. "I don't know what you'd do without us, Amu-chan. Too clumsy, too lazy, too airheaded to get by as a normal person."

"Oh, shut up." I stuck my tongue out at her reflection; she did likewise.

"By the way," Su began softly, "are you going to tell them anytime soon? About, um….. "

I frowned instantly. Ran stopped smacking my legs, and Miki gave Su a shocked stare.

"Uh, yeah." I couldn't look at anything but my toes. "I have to anyway, don't I? Just…..not today."

I closed my eyes; I didn't want to see anything now.

I felt tiny hands pat my temples. Someone hugged my cheek, and someone else cuddled into my neck. I smiled at their attempts to comfort me and stroked each of their backs with my index fingers. "It's fine," I assured them. "We'll all be fine. "We have two weeks."

"It's not enough," Ran sighed.

"It has to be," I reminded her.

* * *

Ikuto tugged at loose strands of my hair, curled up on his side while I was flat on my back, reading articles on my phone.

"Hey," I said.

"Hmm?"

I tried to conceal my grin. "This article says that cat DNA is being bred with human's DNA as an experiment. Think you'll have a new playmate?"

Ikuto was quiet for a while. I giggled, ignoring the sighs of my Charas (and maybe Yoru, who could have been asleep at that moment, for all I knew). Poking fun at Ikuto's feline characteristics was another part of our game. It was mostly for my entertainment, though.

My full-out guffaws, however, were ceased as soon as I found Ikuto over me, pinning my hands to the comforter. Crap.

"The only playmate I need is right here," he returned. "And proving it would be a cinch."

"Pervert," I muttered. He smirked and smoothly rolled back onto his side, releasing my hands and securing my hair once more. Somehow, he always managed to win. If he felt up to it, that is.

Just as I reached to picked up my poor, halfway-discarded phone, it began to buzz. A golden-eyed boy with beautifully long hair appeared on the screen, and I pressed the phone to my ear with a ready smile. "Nagi!"

"Morning, Amu," he greeted. "Just calling to invite you over to the local cafe. We'll all be hanging around there today, and you and Ikuto-kun can come around any time you choose. Or...are you guys busy?"

I felt my face redden at the suspicious undertone in Nagi's voice. "We're perfectly free, Nagihiko," I spat with extra malice. He barely contained a laugh; I rolled my eyes and pulled away from the phone.

"Ikuto."

"Hmm?" he asked absently.

"Are you up for going out with everyone?"

"Sure." I could hear the faint smile in his words, and I grinned, too. Ikuto had been welcomed back to Japan with the former Guardian's open arms, an amazing sight I thought I'd never see. My friends were now his friends. He wasn't the outcast anymore.

Mostly, though, I knew he wanted to see Tadase and Kukai. The three of them could spend hours together doing God knows what. Kukai and Ikuto were specifically close, but he had a connection to Tadase that he had to no one else. Tadase was always the first to know anything about Ikuto; to be honest, I was beginning to get jealous.

I sat up, Ikuto's fingers falling from my hair, and put the phone to my ear again. "Yeah, we'll come, Nagi. Should we walk?"

"Kukai's already in his truck," Nagi said. "He'll be by your house in just a second."

I nodded. "Kay. See you then." I turned to Ikuto. "Kukai's picking us up," I said.

He sighed, knowing what he had to do, and stood. "Yoru."

Ikuto's Chara was by his side in a few seconds, yawning and rubbing his teary golden eyes. "MMmmm, morning, everyone-nya."

We all gave a soft, collective greeting in return. Yoru dropped into the crook of Ikuto's neck and began to snore again. Ikuto smiled softly at him and closed his own eyes for a moment. Two large, sleek cat ears appeared atop his head, accompanied by a long indigo tail. He waved a hand in temporary departing and hopped out of my window with a grace that never failed to awe me.

I stared after him for a while before finally closing the window and turning to leave.

* * *

**Ikuto**

I love Amu. I love her, and I love everything about her, from her sweet scent to her multiple quirks to her selfless instincts. The problem wasn't telling her, either. It was too easy to tell her; I could mix a confession in with normal dialogue. The problem was getting her to believe me.

I wasn't sure if she was in denial, or if she was just that dense. I would see her flushing bright red and staring at both Souma and Tadase, so it wasn't as though she felt that she wasn't ready for all of this. I'd told her- over and over and over, but all she did was hit me and claim that I was teasing her again. I didn't want to argue over it, but I'd have to get it through to her head somehow. Before it was too late.

So many people joke about the friendzone, but I may have been in such a place of frustration. Let me tell you: it sucks. I've been through worse, but it sucks. And, as unhealthy as it might be, I needed Amu to see me the way I saw her. I couldn't think about it too much without getting restless. I'd already gone a few weeks without eat or sleep in the past, just waiting for her to notice me. I wasn't sure how much longer I could last.

I leaned against the side of her house, rubbing my shoulders. I was tired of getting sick all of the time, but I guess I couldn't help it. I had a bad immune system, especially in the winter. Amu tended to wake up to a surprise almost daily this time of year. If it wasn't Amu, it was my family complaining about the temperatures in our house and my sleeping in the living room with the TV on. Naturally, I preferred curling up against a cute girl than staring bleary-eyed at my scowling mother and cold-faced father, so the choice was usually obvious.

Speaking of family and Amu, I had yet to get them gifts. It wasn't like I had a job, and I didn't want to ask Kukai or Tadase for anything, so money was a problem. I guessed that inexpensive, meaningful gifts were enough, but I'd have trouble getting something for Amu that way. Not that she'd care, but I really wanted to get her something. Her birthday and Christmas were the only times that I could repay her for everything she did for me, day in and day out. Perpetually saving me from the deepest chasms, even now. She made me feel like I was worth something. I never did enough for her.

But as for my family...Dad was into baking, ignoring how many fires he'd started burning pastries, so a cheap cookbook or an apron would do. Orchestra-related tools might have been more appropriate, but those were ridiculously expensive, so they were out. Mom would appreciate books, or a bath set, or maybe some new sheet music for her piano. Sheet music, I decided. And, while Utau always claimed that my presence was enough for her, I knew that she appreciated gifts, too. I could get her a new scarf, or a necklace. Or, even better, a hoodie. She'd been more into being comfortable than fashionable lately, I'd noticed.

Kukai would probably want a new pair of sneakers, which I'd been saving up for. I'd been working on a new song for Tadase, as it seemed that he loved to hear me play my violin. But Amu was the kicker; I had no idea what to get her or how to get it.

I shrugged and stepped forward as Souma's truck pulled into the front. He honked once, and Amu came sprinting out of the front door. Maybe it would come to me in the form of a Christmas miracle.

* * *

**Amu**

The ride was short and full of Kukai's voice, but I was only too happy to be squished between the boys and directly in front of the heater. Ikuto stared out of the window, but both Kukai and I knew he was listening.

Kukai parked near the door of the cafe; Ikuto held the door open for me before tousling my hair and jogging over to the copper-headed jock.

I walked in after them, easily spotting my friends in the corner. Luckily, we were quiet, but I suspected that that could be attributed to Nagihiko's deadly calm authority over us all. Even then, Yaya could be seen teasing Utau from across the table, Rima gripping Utau's arm to keep her from standing up. I sighed, marveling at how little and how largely we'd all changed, and snagged the edge of Ikuto's sleeve to follow him to our table.

I knew even before that day that things wouldn't be the same, but it still surprised me when it all changed. We all have to grow up sometime, I guess.

* * *

**A/N: Hey, all. This is quite late, as Christmas was yesterday, but I felt I needed to do this ASAP.**

**This is indeed a revised version of No Mistletoe Needed. Art-x-Soul, if you're reading this, don't worry. Christmas Tree Scene isn't going anywhere. ;)**

**To newcomers, don't worry about reading another fic to catch up. To past readers, I'm sorry about this, and I hope that you enjoy this fic just as much or even more.**

**Things that are different:**

**Amu won't be shouting HENTAI every other sentence. It gets tedious to write, guys, and she's sixteen now. I'll bet even she's tired of screaming 'pervert' to the heavens every chance she gets.**

**Same thing goes for blushing. It seems to me that Ikuto harassed her so often as a way of consoling himself about how young and immature she was; he probably won't do so as often. Amu is an easy blusher, however, so it's not like she'll be immune to the charms of moe that I'll be slapping her in the face with.**

**The story will be focused on Amuto, but other pairings will get almost as much story. Kutau is the second biggest story, followed by Rimahiko and then slight Yairi.**

**This will be less of a comedy, though I'll try and mix a bit of that in, anyway. I'm not too funny, but it seemed to work last time, so.**

**I want this story to have a clear direction. I've planned a lot, and I got a new laptop for Christmas, so things should go faster. At least, I hope they do. Don't hold me to it.**

**Amu and Ikuto's relationship isn't as undefined, now that he's spending more time with her, but he's still a clear romantic interest.**

**I'm taking a Japanese class, so I may be a bit of a show-off in culture.**

**Amu doesn't have a crush on Kukai like she did in NMN, but she does have feelings for Tadase.**

**Ikuto's teenage status will be explained, for you newcomers. Just take note of how kind he is to Yoru nowadays. ;)**

**So thanks, guys, and I'd like your opinions: TO CHAT OR NOT TO CHAT?**

**August: I say chat.**

**Me: I think you're missing the point.**

**Review, flame, kiss up to me, do whatevs, friends. Just give me feedback. Thanks. :)**


	2. The Bet

**A/N: Hey, guys! So this was later than I'd expected, but even now I'm putting off homework and sleep to finish, edit, and upload this chapter. Sorry it's slow in the beginning, but there will be drama to come in the later chapters, so don't worry. Thanks to all that reviewed, and a special shoutout to my dear friend GamerJ1998, who reviewed so sweetly and even broke her sacred vow to read this. :) Love you and miss you, Shiara-senpai. I hope you like reading this fic as much as I love writing it. Consider this a dedication.**

**_To art-x-soul, the sweetheart on DeviantArt who started it all, the readers and followers so far, and most importantly, Ciara, my best friend and my company for a time that felt like forever. Thanks to all of you for sticking by me. None of you know how much it means. Except for Ciara. She might know._**

* * *

**So Far**

**Chapter 2**

**The Bet**

* * *

**Utau**

* * *

**_-One week earlier-_**

* * *

Wednesday night Ramen was a tradition that Ikuto, Souma, and I had been into for a year or so, although I joined in halfway through its beginning. I really came for Ikuto, and Souma did, too. This is why I was more surprised than irritated when, the Wednesday before winter break, he decided to approach me as soon as Ikuto had left for the bathroom.

The Ramen shop was a dull clutter of pots clanging and people talking, and it was warm. Warmer than it was outside, anyway. I'm not just talking about the climate, either. The lights filling the kitchen and shop were golden and melting, flushing my cheeks just a little. Ikuto had waited for one of those rare pauses in Souma's storytelling to stand and mutter that he had to use the restroom, leaving us alone. It wasn't like this hadn't happened before, which is why it was nothing new when Souma just slurped up his noodles without a glance at me.

I began to focus on the Ramen and the atmosphere and how much I wished that Ikuto would come back so that I could listen to someone talk again. Everything was, in a word, normal.

And then it wasn't.

"So Hoshina."

I found myself staring at Souma Kukai in a matter of seconds.

"What?" he asked, eyebrow quirked. He was still grinning.

"What do you want?" I was too surprised to remind him that my name was Tsukiyomi, tell him to shut up, or even call him a moron. I swear, he'd never said more than two words to me on Ramen nights. At school he'd wave, flash a peace sign, call out my name, or pass on a message, but that was it. Neither Souma Kukai or any of the former Guardians (Amu and Tadase excluded) had ever really paid much attention to me. They tried to include me in things, yeah, but none of them had ever made it sound so casual and offhand as Kukai had just then. Anyone that didn't know better might think that we were…..well, friends.

Souma twirled his chopsticks around the noodles before glancing back up at me. His eyes never failed to startle me, at least a little. Even in the golden haze of the shop, they stood out, almost electric. Impossibly puzzling, at least to me. I had no idea how anyone could be so cheerful so consistently, but Souma was always in a chipper mood.

"I was wondering something," he said. There was a pause, in which I almost asked _wondering what_ , but Souma plowed on before I could open my mouth.

"We're friends, right?"

I nearly choked on the noodle currently sliding down my throat. After a large swig of tea (it was cold, but I was choking, so), I pressed my messy mouth to my sleeve and glared at him.

"What the hell gave you that idea?" I muttered. A part of me was afraid I'd blush like my idiot best friend, but of course I didn't. The initial surprise was gone, irritation seeping into my nerves now.

He shrugged, smile finally starting to leave. "Well, you're always hanging around me, so I guess I kinda fig-"

"I hang around you because you hang around Amu and Ikuto," I snapped. "Don't start imagining things."

His eyebrow raised again, but it wasn't nearly as playful as before. "When I wave at you in school, you wave back."

He was just grasping at loose threads now. "What else am I supposed to do, moron?" I scoffed.

Finally, his mouth set into a deep, irreversible frown. His eyebrows settled in a lethal calm over his eyes. I felt the urge to scoot away, but I didn't. I wasn't intimidated by him; I wouldn't let myself be.

He cocked his head to one side, just a little bit. "If you're being honest, I have a proposal. A bet, actually."

This time I raised an eyebrow, partly from interest, partly from confusion. Had he really instigated this conversation to bring up a bet?

He leaned in a little, his expression more serious than I'd ever really seen it. "I bet," he said, "that by the end of winter break, you won't know anything about me. You won't know, just because you won't care."

What. The actual. Hell.

"What kind of a bet is that?" I'd been right; Souma Kukai was an indecipherable enigma, unintentionally (or intentionally) screwing with my head every chance he'd get.

"Does it matter?" he challenged. "You either accept it or decline it."

What kind of a stupid…..

No, I didn't want to back down from a bet. Doing so would be the first time I did, at least between Souma and I. But this was really the dumbest thing he'd ever brought up in my presence. Why on Earth would he want me to know him any better than I did? Why would anyone want me to get to know them, really? I wasn't really the ideal friend; even Amu didn't talk to me as much as she talked to Yaya or Rima. It made no sense, and as much as I hated to say no to a wager, I didn't really have a choice.

So I denied his offer. And he just kind of smirked and turned away like we'd never spoken at all.

* * *

**_-One week later-_**

* * *

"Utau!" I jumped a little at Amu's voice, turning to see her behind Ikuto. I pretended not to notice Souma, who gave me a slight wave in hello, and scooted my chair to give her some extra room (though the girl didn't need it. She'd gained some curves over the years, but she was still slender as a young tree).

"Yo," Ikuto murmured as he passed me. I smiled a little bit and stared into my coffee.

"So what'd you order?" Amu asked, peering into my cup, too. "I don't really come here often, so a recommendation would be great."

"Nothing over 50 calories!" Ran squeaked this from Amu's shoulder, tugging a strand of hair.

"This is my break, Ran. I can eat what I want." Amu said this with a rather deadpan expression. I almost laughed, but decided against it after all. When she caught me off guard, Amu could be a legitimate killer. She'd become dangerous since she was an elementary schooler, practicing false smiles and cold, unfeeling stares. I'd earned some of these attacks, and they were unpleasant to say the least.

"Get some green tea," I advised her. "Coffee's not all that good for you."

Her Shugo Chara did a little air-punch of victory; Amu sighed and stood to claim her order. Before her other two Charas left with her, they stopped and look me in the eye.

"Um, where's El and Il?" The one with the blue hair, Miki, asked. I stared back into my coffee.

"They, um, haven't been feeling well," I muttered. They'd been that way for the past two months, and I couldn't figure out why. My dad said that they were starting to fade, but I didn't want to believe it. I wasn't done yet; I was only sixteen. You're still a kid at sixteen, aren't you? Who decides when you grow up, when your Shugo Chara are taken away from you? I wasn't ready, if it was true. I wouldn't be ready for a long time.

* * *

An hour passed, and Amu left the cafe soon enough. Ikuto followed after her, pestering her with that familiar grin on his face (someone was going to die soon if they kept that up). Nagihiko and Yaya left around the same time, and even Rima left with a silent nod towards me. I was now alone with Souma, who was, again, avoiding my gaze.

I stared out the window and settled into my own line of silence, enjoying solitude once more. Or, rather, pretending to enjoy it. It was all I'd really known, anyway.

Even when surrounded by screeching fans, in the center of a real and breathing collection of people that drowned me in adoration, I'd still felt….alone. My dad left me. Mom left me. Ikuto left me, and despite everything, he still hadn't returned yet. Not completely.

But I didn't want to complain about it; I actually kind of liked being by myself. It was just moments like these, chosen at random, that I wondered if I was supposed to have something more. It was hard to lie to myself, you know? I felt what I felt, and I guess that I didn't deal well with pushing my feelings away. So I wondered. Now and again.

It wasn't until I finished my tea, halfway out the door, that I stopped and stole a glance at Souma from over my shoulder. He was staring right at me.

And maybe it was his expectant, raised eyebrows that did it. Maybe it was the fact that I hated turning down bets, or maybe it was because I was lonely after all. Maybe it was, of all things, how cold it was outside. I can never be sure.

But I paused in that doorway, and as the frigid weather drifted into the cafe, I found myself nodding, once.

I managed to catch his grin, slow and strangely familiar, before I left. The bet was on.

* * *

**Nagihiko**

The sky was gray.

Gray. Isn't it the most depressing color known to man? Black and white are both lovely in their own respect, but their child turned out to be a rather ugly one. It sickens me, sometimes. Sometimes I get headaches from it. Just that color.

"Look at the snow." As said by Tadase, staring at the ground with a dear smile lighting up his face. "It's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," I agreed, because it was. It was too bad that the sky wasn't the same. I mean, wouldn't that have been great?

But it wasn't the same, and it wasn't great.

Tadase saw the snow because he was looking down. I saw the gray in the sky because I was looking ahead.

I can't tell you how naive my friend was. Of course he was like a brother to me, but he did what he was doing more often than someone like him should. Looking down only makes you clumsy, and you tend to run into things, especially if you believe that there's nothing to run into.

I wanted to break this to him in the softest way possible, but I didn't know what that way might be. Tadase was a fragile creature, after all, and his skin was growing thinner and thinner each day. I didn't know when it had happened, but something inside of him- the same thing that was making him stronger- had broken, and I was watching as his mind became like that of a child's. Back in elementary school, he'd been….bright. Like the sun. And now, he'd become a pale daisy, swaying with every breeze, believing himself to be strong enough to survive and smile at all around him.

_Kindness isn't a life source_. I wanted to tell him that, but I couldn't. Too weak to watch, to weak to save. I could feel him withering away from me.

I was smart, or so I'd long ago figured. I knew how to avoid pain like this. But it kept hitting me in the face, continuously, so maybe I wasn't as smart as I'd thought. Or maybe I was just a little masochistic. Kind of like a cycle, the way it worked. I'd solve a sadness, think I was free, and then fall into another one. Maybe the problem was that I cared too much. I always have, haven't I?

Love, I'd learned in my time with the Guardians, is kind of like a trap. Or an unfair bargain with false advertising. It starts with smiles and ends in sobbing messes. Sometimes the smiles will come back around, but it wasn't worth it, was it? How could it possibly be? Love wasn't worth its trouble; people were just….ignorant, I guessed. Even the love I had for my friends came with all sorts of stabs and betrayals, most of them not even intentional. I couldn't imagine getting so close to a person that they might have the power to hurt me any more than I've been hurt.

Tadase looked at the ground and smiled at the snow. He saw his friends, and he saw Amu. He saw his family, and then Amu again. He was in love with her, and it was so painfully obvious and doomed that I pretended as though I didn't know. At least, I told myself I didn't know.

I looked straight ahead and saw the sick, dark sky brush its deceptively pretty offspring. I saw my friends, and my family. I saw Mashiro Rima, but I ignored her. You see, I saw the ugliness of human closeness. I was done with being naive, and too smart to let myself get hurt so easily. Even before that winter, I'd sworn that I'd never let myself fall in love. There's too much pain involved, and never enough happiness.

* * *

**Ikuto**

Once I started coughing, Amu insisted that I went home.

Deciding that "home" could mean her house or my own, I chose her house in a heartbeat (Dad's burnt cookies would probably have me suffocating, anyway). She was going to the store, so I wouldn't miss out on anything big. Or so she said.

Her mother greeted me warmly, as she always did, offering some cookies and hot chocolate. I gladly accepted, chatted a bit, and headed up to Amu's room.

Yoru's tiny head was snuggled into the crook of my neck. He was awake, and I knew it, so as soon as I slid under the pink bedspread of Amu's bed, I reached in my pocket and gave him a part of a cookie I'd stashed.

"This is yummy-nya," he murmured cheerfully. "Thanks, Ikuto."

"No problem, Yoru," I replied. The ends of my fingers found his patch of hair, and I messed with it a little. He started to purr, which made me smile. "Thanks for being here, buddy."

He'd fallen asleep by the time I'd said that, but I didn't care. He was as sick as I was, so he needed the rest. I did too, but I couldn't sleep. So I laid a hand over him and closed my eyes, thinking.

Utau's Shugo Chara were sick, too. As were Tadase's and Fujisaki's. Yoru had been the same way before my eighteenth birthday. Dad had said that they were fading, that their time with us was slipping away. In other words, we were growing up. Creating different dreams and goals. Shaping ourselves into new people. It was…..it was kind of terrifying.

I guess I'd know firsthand, though. I was still seventeen because I was scared. Initially, I'd thought I was anxious about losing my best friend, and that was a part of it, but it wasn't the whole story. Blowing out the candles of a cheap cupcake on December 17th, all alone slumping on the ground at a train station, I'd been crying. I hadn't cried in years. I'd never felt so unprepared in my life.

Yoru had been limp against my stomach, growing lighter and lighter. And I'd made the dumbest, most immature wish I'd made in a long time.

_I wish I didn't have to grow up. Not until I'm ready. Please. Please, don't take him from me._

And when he'd risen, hugging my neck and laughing ecstatically, I'd joined him, relieved. Relieved that my companion since childhood had been saved. Relieved that I didn't have to face the world alone.

But Yoru was sick again, and that meant that I was running out of time again. I didn't know if this meant I was ready, and I didn't feel ready. I took deep breaths, in and out, to rid myself of the fear seizing my lungs. I thought of Amu's smile, and inhaled her scent, and brushed my fingers against Yoru's hair, and listened intently to his purring. Before I knew it, I was asleep. Putting off my worries for the future. Ignoring reality while I could. Like a kid, I guess.

* * *

**A/N: Again, sorry for the late update! ^^' This is faster though, isn't it? I mapped out the plot, and worked on the characters and how they'd be, and a lot of things are organized, so... I just don't have a lot of time guys. Gomenasai.**

**I have Classical Solo/Ensemble to practice for, and Choral UIL, and I have a Japanese-Speaking Competition to practice for, and homework, and chores, and a blog to run, and friends to keep up with, and church to attend, and I'm just not the lazy middle schooler with tons of free time that I was, guys. So sorry. ^^'**

**But thank you all for reading this far! I know it wasn't really a HOOKING first chapter, and neither is this one, but I have to set things up before the plot does its thing, you know? So thanks for bearing with me. :)**

**And a special thanks to those that reviewed! Gosh, I love reviews so much. They really fill me with happiness.**

**This is a really symbolic and metaphor-filled thing, so I'm guessing that I won't have as many fans of this fic, but it's all fine. I'm trying to mature a bit when it comes to writing in general. Shugo Chara may not be the best fanbase to try this on, as it targets younger girls, but I have a promise to keep. :)**

**Ikuto: You've really grown…..0_0**

**Amu: Where's the crazy, random, lazy Juli we knew a few months ago?**

**Me: Gone. I guess that's why I'm theming this fic with growing up. I can identify with you, Ikuto. It's freaking terrifying, and really sad. I miss being so carefree.**

**Amu: DON'T DO THIS TO US**

**Ikuto: GAH RIGHT IN THE FEELS OW**

**Me: Shizukanishitekudasai, minna. (Please be quiet, guys.)**

**Ikuto: SHE SPEAKS JAPANESE. NO. STOP.**

**Me: iie. (No.) Urusai. (you're being noisy/ shut up.)**

**Amu: SO ADVANCED**

**Me: Amu-chan wa dare desuka? (Who are you, Amu?) Amu-chan wa kawaii, desune? Doshite? Nande? Go kazoku wa dare to dare desuka? Amu-chan wa nanji ni bangohan o tabemasuka? Amu-chan wa ochya o nomimasuka? Nanji desuka? Doshite? (You're cute, aren't you, Amu? Why? How? Who are the people in your family? At what time do you eat dinner? Do you drink tea? What time? Why?)**

**Ima wa nanji desuka?**

**(What time is it?)**

**Amu: YAMETEEEEEEEEEEE! (STOP IIIIIIT!)**

**Lol, so there's my chat. Hope you guys enjoyed/ learned some useful phrases? Gosh, I'm tired. Hope you guys had a great New Year's and a V-day just as good. :) Until next time. Please review!**


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